Some youth from unbelievably challenging backgrounds are able to rise above their circumstances and become successful. Most others from such conditions utterly fail. Have you ever wondered what makes the difference?

This is a question that has been explored by several studies. What they have found time and time again is the same. The difference is that children from challenged backgrounds who find success usually have at least one significant adult in their lives that becomes a strong advocate for them. Unfortunately, many other children who must overcome great odds do not have such a person. The result for this latter group normally is failure.

The significant adult advocates are often called mentors. They can be a relative, a neighbor, an older friend, or a school employee. Regardless of their relation to the student, good mentors help the young person find success by doing four things.

First, they encourage the young people to do their best. They help them believe in themselves. Such adults help youth discover their talents and challenge them to use them to their fullest. In the process, they also help them gain confidence and positive self-esteem. These adults can provide the motivation to carry on and move forward even after crushing setbacks in their lives.

Secondly, they support the young people in times of difficulty. They help them find needed resources to overcome or deal with problems. When a listening ear or shoulder to lean on is necessary, mentors are there. They fill the gaps and holes the students have in their lives. This allows the young person to move forward and progress even in the middle of chaotic situations.

Thirdly, strong mentors are coaches. They teach the young what they need to do to be successful in each step of their lives. This training provides ongoing adjustments and fine-tuning so the children will get more and more effective as people. Such adults are strong in helping youth talk through their situations and give them guidance that will lead to future success. Such coaches also help young people to raise expectations for themselves and make the most of their abilities.

Fourthly a good mentor provides a strong role model for a young person who otherwise might not have one. Many students who come from challenged families have very few adults in their lives that they can look up to and emulate. Perhaps the most important service of mentors is to fill this role for the young. Robert DeBruyn writing in The Master Teacher says it well, “These students have heard everyone talk the talk. What they haven’t experienced are people who walk the walk.” 

All of these positive traits have two factors in common. They all show the adults care about the young people and they show the adults believe in the youth. Knowing there is someone who cares about them and believes in them can be life changing.

We are very blessed in this community to have several organizations that locate, train and assign mentors for young people. They include Big Pals/Little Pals, TeamMates, and Youth for Christ. If interested in making a difference in the life a young person, please call one of these groups.

One does not have to go through an organization to care about young people, however. Perhaps there are boys and girls in your neighborhood who need extra help and support. Maybe you have relatives that could use an adult advocate. Please reach out to these youth in need.

For more information, contact the Web Master.