One trademark of healthy homes is good communication between parents and children. Such communication creates unity and family harmony. It also is essential to the growth and development of young people. Some adult/child communication is much better than others. This is especially true in the area of praise. Praise can spur a child on to accomplishments and growth or can actually stunt a child’s development.

The understanding of effective praise has evolved over the years. In the 60s and 70s, parents were encouraged to repeatedly tell their children how wonderful they were and be unfailingly positive with them. It was believed this would create improved self-esteem, which would in turn lead children to cooperate and develop their abilities.

Studies in the latter part of 20th Century adjusted this thinking. They indicated that praise is only constructive when it is tied to specific accomplishments of children. These studies concluded that praise just for the sake of praise is like white noise. Such positive communication soon is not even heard by children. This is so because the children perceive such praise as meaningless. Unearned praise actually lessens the positive impact of deserved praise.

Researchers agreed that praise that is specifically tied to something the child has done well can lead to further accomplishments by the child. They reasoned it would boost their self confidence and encourage them to continue to seek success in the area of approbation.

The importance of specific praise is still encouraged by experts today. However, they have further refined their knowledge concerning effective praise. Those currently studying this topic say that children should not receive praise for accomplishments made with little or no effort. Rather, affirmation should be given when children have succeeded due to stretching themselves through dedication and hard work.

Thus a student who gets an “A” grade in math deserves little praise if he or she is naturally gifted in math that obtaining this grade required negligible effort. However, a student who gains a “C” grade in math through much hard work and perseverance should be acknowledged for the effort.

What researchers are telling us is that students should not be praised and recognized for simply having abilities. This is particularly true when they are utilizing them minimally. Rather, students deserve praise when they are stretching themselves, working hard, and taking on challenges that are leading them to higher levels of achievement.

Brain researchers tell us that human intelligence is not static. It goes up or down based on our willingness to challenge ourselves. Acknowledging youth for hard work, effort, and extending themselves helps them to see that such dedication pays off. This also tells them that their hard work is leading to growth and improvement.

Conversely, children who are praised for playing it safe and taking on only easy tasks that cause no improvement are getting a potentially harmful message from the praise. Praise in that case tells them to play it safe and take on only tasks in which they will easily succeed. These types of tasks cause students to stagnate at their current level. It can even cause their abilities to atrophy.

So what should and should not be praised? It is most important to praise effort and hard work. Praising a student’s intelligence, on the other hand, actually can be harmful. This is what the researcher, Carol Dweck, wrote on the subject: “Praising students’ intelligence gives them a short burst of pride, followed by a long string of negative consequences.”

A good rule of thumb for adults to follow is this: reserve your praise for effort and improvement. Limit praise for natural endowments such as intelligence or beauty. Acknowledge young people when they are bettering themselves through dedication and hard work. This will help stimulate their development and maximize their potential.

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